By Greg Grimstad

It’s confession time.  The police pulled me over the other night.  While driving along a road notorious for speed traps, I saw flashing lights in the rear view mirror.  My wife asked me right away if I was speeding, and fortunately I was driving under the limit.

What I learned after chatting with the friendly officer is that I had crossed over the “fog line” and he was making sure I wasn’t driving impaired. (I wasn’t.) Before he left, without issuing any ticket, I asked him, “OK, so what’s a fog line?”  I learned that it’s the solid white line on the right side of the road that helps us steer on the road when difficult conditions exist.  You learn something new every day.

As I continued to drive, I noticed that beyond the white line was the real danger. The fog line line was keeping me far away an awaiting disaster of a roll-over or a crash into a swampy marsh.

Heading into the Fall, there’s a tendency to go way beyond the fog line with time, schedules, and activities.  It seems like I have the tendency to shoehorn too many things into life and the calendar.  I somehow think it all will fit and when life swerves off the road, there’s not a lot of margin to save me from frustration and pain.

How is it for you?  As you’re heading into the Fall schedule evaluate how things are looking in these areas:

• Financial Margin. Are you spending more than you take in?  Do you have an emergency savings account for those unexpected expenses?  What would happen if “Murphy” showed up at your house?  You know him, he’s the water-heater-will-break-right-before-the-weekend-company-arrives guy.  Or he’s the Mr. Great Timing on the car repairs, just when you’re ready for some holiday shopping.  Set some savings goals and steer far away for racking up credit card debt.
• Family Margin. So when is the last time you all sat down for a meal together?  As you look at the week ahead, is there any down time?  As a family, (this includes the parents) try to electronically unplug every now and then so you can catch your breath and connect with each other.  If you’re single, do you have some quality time carved out to hang out with your friends?
• Social Margin. We’re in a new message series right now, and this is a great time to invite your friends and neighbors to church.  Do you have space in your world to connect with them?
• Spiritual Margin. Your relationship with God should be your number one priority.  It will affect your marriage, relationships, parenting, work, and life.  How is this reflecting in your schedule?  When is the last time you’ve had some extended time just being still before God?

Don’t worry, you’re not alone and these are things I need to work on as well. But I’ve found that they just don’t automatically happen, I need to put these in the schedule first before the other activities engulf the calendar.  So this week, be proactive, talk with your family and choose to have some margin in your life.

Which area do you need to work on the most for this fall?  What tips can you give others on dealing with a crazy schedule?

Greg is the director of Eagle Brook’s Care Ministries. He and his wife Sue have been married almost 30 years, are the parents of two daughters and the grandparents of two grandboys! He tweets @ggrimstad.

By Jen Wise

I’ve always loved fall. I’ve always loved the freshness of new routines, new rhythms and new opportunities. There is a definite air of possibility and excitement as I feel cooler breezes coming through the now-open windows. I have calendars printed, day planners organized, weekly schedules charted out. . . this is it: fall is here.

This year is like every other year in that I’m beginning to harvest the tomatoes, move sweaters back into rotation and pour over recipes that involve roasting or adding cinnamon. I’m putting blankets back on the beds, reorganizing my fridge for new staples and spending a little extra time sipping my coffee in the cool morning air.

Yet, this fall is profoundly different for one reason: I have two sweet little boys, who have been primarily in my care, heading off to school. Our oldest is beginning kindergarten and our youngest, preschool. While I am 99 percent (Honestly? 75 precent) excited about this new stage, there is part of me that is facing this fall with a bit of trepidation.

As I’ve spoken with other mom friends over the past several weeks I’ve noticed that no matter the age of the child, there is a certain level of concern over the new challenges, new freedoms and newfound independence that naturally occur in each stage as our children grow up.

Here are a few ideas as you head into your new season.

Plan ahead. Schedule a time to sit down with your spouse and have a candid talk about the coming year. (You’re single? How about a trusted friend or grandparent.) How will you tangibly support and encourage your child? What challenges do you envision and what is your game plan? What opportunities will present themselves and how will you respond?

If your 1st grader is invited to a sleep over at a new friend’s house, what will you say? If your 8^th grader wants to walk to Caribou with her friends after school, what are your stipulations? How will you respond to slipping grades, newfound talents or broken hearts?

Know and be known. Don’t underestimate the value of knowing the people who are a part of your child’s world. . . and them knowing you! Volunteer in his or her classroom on occasion. Swing by the front desk with a basket of muffins and get to know the principal and office administrator. Host a class party in your backyard and use that opportunity to build relationships with other parents. These are the new influences in your child’s life—don’t be in the dark about who and what they are exposed to.

Listen. I have not met one child who won’t talk non-stop if they are given undivided attention. Do you really want to know what your child is up to, who they spend time with and what they’re struggling with? Ask. And then be sure to offer your focused attention.

You communicate so much about the value of your child by your ability to listen. If you regularly discard the concerns of your 3^rd grader because “so-and-so didn’t sit by me at lunch” doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, you are sending a very clear message: your feelings and problems aren’t important to me. If you want your child to talk to you about what they’re facing at 17, listen to them at 7.

Keep Checking In. You set a plan at the beginning of the year, but inevitably there will be new challenges and opportunities you didn’t see coming. Purposefully set aside a time once a month, or bi-weekly, to check in with your spouse and reevaluate your plan. Is your daughter excelling in an area and facing possible advancement? Is your son struggling to behave when the classroom becomes rowdy? Has one of your child’s long-time friends become a bad influence? These are all issues that deserve thoughtful attention. Too often we don’t respond to a situation because we won’t slow down enough to give it our focused attention. Give your parenting at least as much energy and thoughtfulness as you give to projects at work.

Pray. Pray for your child. Pray with your child. I cannot emphasize this enough. There are so many times when as parents we pour our energy into frustration and worry rather than prayer. If you find yourself in any given situation thinking, “I just don’t know what to do,” I have the answer: pray. If you haven’t prayed, then there’s no use spinning your wheels and calling everyone you know for advice.

These are just a few of the steps we’re taking to prepare for a successful new season. What does your family do to prepare for the new year?

Jen Wise is a freelance writer working with various ministries around the country. She has been married to EBC Worship Arts Pastor Jon Wise for eight years. They live in White Bear Lake with two wild and creative sons and a snuggly, snorty pug. Follow Jen on Twitter @jenlwise.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. (Deut 6:5).

Harry was dedicated at church yesterday. With about a dozen other families, we stood on the platform in front of our church family and promised to raise our son to know the Lord. As we were lining up and the band was playing a Darius Rucker song that would make even a statue cry, I shook my head in disbelief. I sometimes can’t believe that we’ve been given the honor and the overwhelming task of shepherding this little life.

On one of the adoption forums I frequent there has been a big discussion this week about adoption and what it means, and feels like, to have been adopted. People’s experiences are as varied as everything else, but one theme that comes up quite frequently is the idea of birth right and heritage.

We sought an open adoption, because I agree that it is every person’s right to know from whence they came. To know who they are at the most biological level.

But more than I want Harry to know his biological roots, to know who he is, I want him to know WHOSE he is.

His heritage is Native American and Caucasian and Utahn. That is where he is from. But that is earthly.

More than that, higher than any of that, he is the son of the King.

He was created in his first mother’s womb. Knit together. Protected. Wanted. So very much wanted. He was created. Not by a whim or chance. Never, ever a mistake.

His life has purpose and meaning simply because he’s alive. I believe this about all human life, but I am deeply invested and constantly prayerful that this son I am raising knows this before he knows anything else.

And I want it to cause him to worship. To love. To know and to seek God first before anything else.

It’s why we chose Deuteronomy 6:5 as Harry’s life verse. God told the Israelites that the most important law, the number one thing, was to love Him with all their minds, hearts and strength.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deut 6:7-9)

When Jesus was asked what was the most important commandment, he repeated it (Matthew 27).

I read where a poster asked why adoptive parents are threatened by the birth parent relationship, as loving one’s birth family doesn’t negate the love and relationship with one’s adoptive family. It was, I’m embarrassed to say, a duh moment for me.

The miracle of love is that it cannot be divided. It only multiplies.

And when we allow that love to come from the Source, well, it can change the world.

There is a little baby sleeping upstairs who has changed mine. A gift from the Giver of all good gifts.

[This is a repost from Johanna Price's blog These Prices.]

Johanna Price is the Marketing/Communications manager at Eagle Brook. She, her husband Aaron, their son Harry and two dogs live in the NW metro. Follow her on Twitter @johannaprice.

By Aaron Damjanovich

On Aug. 13, 2010, I married my beautiful bride Ashley. To be honest, I faced more change this past year than ever before.  I graduated from college, got married, and started a new job in a church I love in the field I want to build a career.  The hardest thing I faced was balancing two things I loved very much—my job and my wife.  They are both huge commitments that expected (and deserved) 110 percent of my time, energy and passion.

For a long time I was guilty of walking in the door after work and wanting to tell Ashley all about my day and how much I loved my job. I would get more passionate and more excited about the job opportunities that were coming my way than the family things we were planning or the date nights we were looking forward to.  I would be fully engaged in the conversations that centered on Eagle Brook and sort of check out in conversations that centered on family stuff.  I would be quick to drop a scheduled family event for a work opportunity, but would never drop a scheduled work opportunity for a family event.

All in all, my actions told her I loved my job more than I loved her.  Truth is—she was right. It was a problem, and I needed to figure it out.

My initial reaction was to justify it with the premise that I was doing God’s work and…I mean… how couldn’t you be super excited when hundreds of people are coming to Christ and getting baptized?  But I was justifying it with a problem that didn’t exist. She was just as excited as I was about the things happening at church and my job opportunities. The real problem was that every time the conversation was centered on my job and the church I would get super passionate and engaged. But when the topic was on anything else, like her job and her interests or our marriage in general, I would be far less passionate and engaged; sometimes checked out.

Do you see the issue here?

One thing I learned (and am still learning) is that my wife must be my primary passion in life – just like my relationship with God. She can’t be (or feel) secondary to my job, my friends or my hobbies. If she does it’s not her problem— it’s mine. I would often tell her that she was most important, but my actions wouldn’t reflect my words.  Every day I need to tune my heart with hers, learn her passions, study her, engage with her interests— not just always expect her to engage with mine. I must be as passionate and loving to my wife as Christ is to us—His Church.

Question: In what areas of your life do you show more passion toward than you show passion toward your own spouse?  What can you do to tune your heart with your spouse’s heart and become more passionate about them this week?

Aaron Damjanovich is the student pastor at Eagle Brook’s Blaine campus. He is a Bethel University graduate, and has been married to his wife Ashley for a year.

By Trent Anderson

My wife’s middle name is Joy. She has been  great contributor to my joy over the years, and now being in the deepest throws of parenting I can see our times together getting torn away from us, more regularly dwindling our joy.

Since summer hit this year our “together time” has decreased significantly. With our kids growing in age 15, 13, and 11, the quantity of things they enjoy, and can do, grows as fast as their physical stature. Not to mention their desire to stay up later, to be in our adult business, and to have friends over for hanging and sleep overs.  All of these things carve away from our “together time” as a couple because now we are catering to our kids needs and the responsibilities that these “extras” create.

Times for conversation between my wife and I have been cut substantially, even though our kids are old enough to stay home and we can get out, their extras carve into our potential time to break away.  Therefore, we have waged war on this lifestyle change and are now striving to be more intentional with our dates, walks, and are making our kids more responsible with all of the logistics of their choices.

I encourage you to set good boundaries; when the kids want to do something with friends, make sure they have planned out a way to get there and the details of pick up, and if they ask you to be their chauffeur, make certain they appreciate it and understand the sacrifice it takes. So, when it is time to dip into their time accounts and break away from them for that special husband and wife get away without the kids, they are going to be appreciative of the fact that you as parents are getting out to invest in your relationship, just like they are striving to do with their peers.  A healthy marriage provides security and comfort at home.

In order to bring joy back into our home, I have to pursue my wife with the best tactics and strategy I can dream up.  She still needs to feel like my next highest priority to God.  Never stop making time for each other.

Trent Anderson is the centralized care pastor. He and his wife have three kids.

By Sue Lennartson

I have such amazing memories of my dad and the ways he would talk to me about God. It was never planned time or even a sit down time; they just happened.

Let me take you to the 1950s in White Bear Lake. My father and his brother owned  Amundson Boat Works. There is a state memorial sign marking the site where the Boat Works stood.  My grandfather,  Gustav Amundson, came over from Norway and started one of the very first Boat Works on White Bear Lake. His sons Adolph  and Edwin, my dad, worked with him.  I remember many a summer day being at the shop with dad and the crew. By the ’50s my grandfather had died and his sons carried on the work.

I would watch my dad use special tools to sculpt the fine wooden Norwegian boats. Each boat was hand crafted. It took  time and focused energy. I remember watching them and then picking up a few boards here and there to try my hand at creating something.

My dad and his brother were also great sailers. They raced and supplied amazing sailboats to those in the state that were master sailers and racers.

One day, as I was sailing with my dad he said to me, “Susan, look at the slates of the boat, the curved slates forming the boat. Those are like the arms of Jesus open wide,  crarrying you thorough calm water—or  rough waters. Rememer that the arms of Jesus are holding you.

He then said, “Look at the mast. Dad had to make it really strong; it can’t  just  snap, it must be strong. I want you to find your strength in the Lord,  Susan.”

Then he said, “Look at the sail. Do you see it moving? But do you see the wind? The wind is like the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit cannot be seen but the Spirit is power. The Spirit is alive. The Holy Spirit will guide you and move you.”

He asked me, “Susan, where is your hand?”

“On the till Dad.”

He would ask me, “Are we going to come about, will we go left, or right, what will your decision be? I want you to make  your decisions based on God’s Word, Susan.”

My dad’s timing was in the moment. My earthly father taught me a lot about my Heavenly father.

The power of those times with my dad have left me with amazing memories. I am grateful for the impact those memories have had  on my life, my journey and direction.

Every day we are creating memories, stories and experiences within our marriages, homes and families. What are the stories that will live on through your marriage, through you?

In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus talks to us about being the salt of the earth. “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.” (Matthew 5:13)

Jesus says we ARE the salt. We are making an impact, beyond an impression, on those we love every day. We may not think we are, but we are.

In and through our marriages may we continualy commit to being intentional about changing the “flavor” of  the memories we create with each other. We have an obligation and a responsibility to model the love, care, forgiveness and encouragement of Jesus within our marriages. It does take work but the outcome is life giving.

Savor the moments in building lasting healthy memories. And be grateful for the powerful guiding memories another person has invested into your life.

Sue Lennartson is the connections pastor at White Bear Lake.

By Sarah Strand

Have you ever had one of those extremely humbling days? I had to learn from one recently.

My husband Jason was out of town, so I decided to do what I normally do when I’m on my own.  Say yes to everything I am asked to do, pretend I am superwoman and over plan too much in our day.

After already running our three little children around ragged, we went to a friend’s house for dinner. When it was time to leave I gave my five-year-old Micah a five-minute warning, and then five minutes later told him it was time to leave.  He threw the biggest brawling fit I have ever seen him throw, especially in front of an audience.  I had never seen him this out of control, but of course I didn’t want to sound like I was making excuses for him. We left, apologizing all the way out the door.  I know my friend loves me, but I couldn’t help but wonder if that was the last time she would ever invite me over after that scene.

We walked into our house, where I looked at us in the mirror. We looked exhausted, and my skin was burnt only in the places where I missed sunscreen. (That’s always a nice look.)  My kids were dirty from a day outside. They needed baths but there would none; we were going straight to bed.  Then I looked down, one of my pant legs was rolled up at least four inches higher than the other.  Apparently I was too busy all day to notice. I walked around Target and went to a friend’s house looking like this.

I know days like this happen, but I had to take some responsibility for the humiliation I was experiencing.  I learned a few things that day.

First, I am a “yes” girl, while Jason is good at saying “no.”  This difference in our personalities gets us into trouble often, but it is also the very thing that complements each other well.  When Jason is gone, my spontaneous and overly-optimistic-with-time personality kicks in and I then experience the negative consequences that can have on our family.  The way that Jason plans and designates our time balances out my desire to say yes to everything and visa versa.  Though personality differences in marriage can be a major source of conflict, God knew exactly what he was doing when he put us together. I e-mailed Jason right away to tell him how much I appreciate his personality even when it’s so different from mine.

Second, this particular day was unfortunately not in my top humbling moments. I’ve had many more, but I am learning to be thankful for embarrassing situations. Humiliation is one of the ways God uses to make us humble.

1 Peter 5:5 says that “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”  I would much rather be experiencing God’s favor than opposition. If left to myself I would think way too highly of myself, but when I hit certain lows I am brought to my knees in prayer.  Humbling circumstances remind me that I can’t do everything on my own. They remind me that Christ is my strength in my weakness, and I am nothing without him, but everything with him.

Third, I learned that day that I should probably check to make sure my pants are not four inches off in length before I leave the house the next time.

Are there personality differences in your family members that cause tension, but may also be a way that you balance each other? Is there a circumstance in your life that you cannot get through on your own right now? Maybe God is bringing you to your knees…wanting you to trust him so he can show his work and power in your life.

Sarah Strand has been married to Teaching Pastor/LINO Campus Pastor Jason Strand for almost a decade. They have three children: Micah, Hudson and Isabelle. Prior to staying home with their kids, Sarah worked as a family therapist.

By John Alexander

Veneer: “A thin covering that hides the real material underneath.”

I recently finished the book Veneer: Living Deeply in a Surface Society. I was deeply challenged.

The overall message is how the world tempts and teaches us to live a veneer kind of life; the kind of veneer life that is about celebrity, status, reputation, “Facebook friendships,” consumerism, busyness, and hype. In the veneer world, we live in a constant partial attentiveness.

Let me give you few examples.

A few nights ago, I was watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians. (It just happened to be on). During the show, I was reading a book (Veneer, actually), carrying on a conversation with my wife, had my iPhone on my lap and my computer open. I say I’m multitasking; the authors tell me I’m living a veneer life because I’m not really going deep or engaging in any one thing.

Another example: Last week, I was on the golf course with my brother, and as we were lining up for the final putt (he was putting for par), he was checking his phone. No problem, I thought. He has an app to GPS how far away he is from the hole. But then I realized he was putting and didn’t need to know the club he should choose. So I asked him, what could you possibly be doing? He looked up, snapped out of his partial attentivenss, and told me he was checking e-mail.

Checking e-mail on the 18^th green? Yes. That’s partial attentiveness. That’s a veneer action.

The world wants me to compare what I’m wearing with everyone else. (You could look better). The world wants me to fill up my calendar full of activity so I can feel important. (You can achieve more.) The world wants me to have 1,217 friends on Facebook. (You can have more relationships.) The world wants me to buy into all the “hype” surrounding every product and activity and advertisement. The world wants me to dream of becoming a reality star and having my life changed instantly by fame. (You can be all you dream of becoming.)

And yet, at the end of the day, this just doesn’t amount to much, does it? I mean, I do enjoy watching TV while checking my iPhone while mindlessly perusing the latest Fantasy Baseball news while reading a book.

But just because I enjoy it doesn’t mean it’s right.

Our brains are like plastic. They’re pliable. And frankly, the world and technology are changing our brains. We start to feel the “need” for partial attentiveness. We start to feel the “urge” to check Facebook. We start to get the “itch” to check on the latest entertainment news. Why? Because our brains are learning to crave these things.

I am about to have a child. And I can tell you, I don’t want my life to be a series of partial attentiveness experiences that amount to zero. It’s a formula for a shallow, meaningless life. I feel the wise teacher and writer of Ecclesiastes, Solomon, in my ears: “Everything is meaningless,” says the teacher, “completely, meaningless!” (Ecclesiastes 1:2).

That is, if we choose to live a veneer kind of life.

But I want more than shallow experiences. I want real engagement, authentic emotion, meaningful relationships, and transparent living. I want to live beyond the veneer.

How? I’m not sure, but I can tell you what I want.

I want a few meaningful, deep, life-giving relationships rather than 1,217 friends.

I want more real interactions with people rather than Facebook friendships.

I want to live a life not comparing about what I’m wearing or how I look compared with celebrities.

I want to live a life with breath and holy attentiveness to God.

I want to spend meaningful, large amounts of time with those whom I care about most.

I want to possess enough margin in my time and money to sacrificially give.

I want to be fully present in every moment.

I want to care more about what God thinks of me than what people think of me.

My suggestion? Go beyond the veneer. Live deeply. Begin now.

John Alexander is the Junior High teaching pastor. His wife Emily is the Early Childhood pastor at WBL. They are expecting their first child (technically third if you count their two dogs, Bear and Nala), at the end of July. He blogs at atthegarage.wordpress.com

By Jen Wise

How many times has this happened to you? You’re clicking through Facebook, minding your own business, and suddenly a foul mood bubbles up within you, seemingly out of nowhere. Within just a few more clicks your entire outlook has changed.

No, you haven’t seen anything offensive. No, no one has been picking on you. And no, you haven’t seen evidence of evil, societal woes or cultural degradation. What you have seen is fantastic: pictures of well-dressed couples out to dinner, families engaged in meaningful activities, and friends connecting and gushing over one another. You’ve seen a world of perfect people with perfect outfits and perfect children and perfect, exciting lives.

Boy, have you been cheated! Your kids never behave. Your house is always messy (and not to mention, way too small). You can’t even remember the last time you went out for a night on the town. And don’t even get me started on those clothes… maybe if you weren’t so poor you could buy proper clothing and go out to eat and look fantastic all of the time. Geez. You sure got the short end of the stick.

What’s wrong with this picture?

It’s remarkable how quickly our outlook changes when we fall into the comparison trap. Reality gets distorted and suddenly your wonderful kids don’t measure up, the home you’ve made isn’t quite right and your abundance isn’t enough anymore. When faced with others’ blessings and successes we spiral into jealousy, insecurity and discontentment.

It doesn’t matter that we love our friends. It doesn’t matter that we should be, and almost are, happy for them. In their success we see our failure. In their abundance we see our lacking. In their ability we see our inadequacy.

It is so difficult not to be jealous and insecure when we get snippets of successes paraded across our computer screens every day. But it’s not just social media that tempts us to compare. The neighbor’s yard that is always perfect, the friend who never has a hair out of place, the family from church who seems to never have a squabble… There is an opportunity for a pity party at almost every turn.

You cannot, and should not, ignore the blessings and goodness in others’ lives. You cannot, and should not, close yourself off from anyone who can ‘best’ you in a given area. So how can you escape the comparison trap?

Here are five simple habits that are transforming my relationship with myself, with others and with God as I move from comparing to celebrating.

1) Remember that no one’s life is perfect. Pastor Steven Furtick recently tweeted, “One reason we struggle with insecurity: we’re comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.” We are all too aware of the mundane moments of our lives. We are even more aware of our struggles. Keep in mind that EVERYONE has mundane moments, struggles and pain. Every person and every family have imperfections.

2) Don’t revel in those imperfections. There is a difference between remembering that no one is perfect and secretly celebrating others’ imperfections. We often look for something we ‘do’ or ‘have’ better in order to feel secure. Be on the alert if you find yourself thinking, “He might have a big job and fancy car, but his marriage is a sham” or “Her house is always so beautiful, but I bet they’re drowning in debt!” Your security rests in Christ alone, not in how you measure up to your peers. Rest in his grace that overcomes your own imperfections and refuse to rejoice in the struggles of those around you.

3) Celebrate what you’ve got. You do enjoy special times with your kids. You do have fun times with your friends. Your do, on occasion, look put together and fantastic. You’re just not seeing these moments strung together in highlight-reel form. Recognize the blessings in your life and celebrate them. Thank God for them. This is the key to prying the tentacles of discontentment from your life.

4) Celebrate. Don’t brag. Enough said.

5) Celebrate the blessings in others’ lives. The antidote to bitterness and jealousy is celebration. Celebrate the good you see in others’ lives. Did a mom from your playgroup just spend a weekend away at the spa? This is not a sign of the dismal quality of your own life; this is an opportunity to rejoice in a restorative weekend for someone else. Did your brother just remodel his kitchen himself? This is not a sign of your incompetence; this is an opportunity to rejoice in his ability and hard work. Let your heart be transformed by celebrating the good, the special and the beautiful in others’ lives.

Follow Jen on Twitter @jenlwise

By Tahni Cullen

“Life would be so much better if I could just remove this one thing.”

Do you find yourself saying that? It’s that problem that you never planned for, but it came. And it’s usually something that you don’t have much control over no matter how hard you try. A chronic health issue, an ailing parent, a wayward child, a disengaged spouse, long-term unemployment.

If you truly have a “one thing,” you don’t have to um and ah to conjure it up; it’s an instant response. Because it’s the thing you wake up thinking about and go to bed praying about. No matter how much you pray or change yourself that “one thing” can still persist—maybe for years, maybe for life. With that “one thing” persisting, how can you even experience that “life to the full” that Jesus came to give? Do you wonder sometimes if that simply wasn’t meant to be for you?

I’ve faced some tough stuff in my life, and even some close calls, but most big things were resolved. When my father died suddenly when he was 55, that was hard, but it was final; resolved. But when my son Josiah was diagnosed with autism at age 2—a neurological disorder that doctors say has “no known cause, no known cure, and is lifelong”—I encountered my first big wall in life that I couldn’t get over, naturally heal from, or work my way out of.  It’s open-ended, unresolved. Uncomfortable.

I had no grid, even in my spiritual life, for a problem that didn’t have a foreseeable expiration date. And worse, it affected my only child before my eyes…and not one area of our family lives has been left untouched by it. Still, God says, “I have good plans for you and for your child”… “I work all things together for good”… “I do good work in you.” Faith progress is believing that He just is Good News that eclipses the power of that which is unresolved right now.  He is the Solution to every unanswered question in our lives.

So, how can we live with resolve while that “one thing” is still unresolved (according to Colossians 1):

1. Tap into God’s supernatural strength. God offers us a strength accessible by faith that is not our own. It is more than mere day-to-day survival; it is filled with enduring hope and expectation despite the present circumstances. It empowers us to persevere in prayer and speaks to us, “Never give up. Keep walking. Keep trusting.”

2. Cultivate joy and thankfulness. We have to practice these responses by reveling in what we have been given through Christ and engaging his promises instead of succumbing to despair and complaining. The best practice is giving away to others the very thing that you need yourself—like encouragement, prayer, or time.

3. Relentlessly pursue your destiny. God has bright and beautiful things planned for us, and equips us to do each one. The devil would love nothing more than to trap us in the “Land of Why” so that we become embittered to pursuing our God-given purpose. Instead, I dare you to move, to risk, to dream with God again! He is always forward moving—God of the Breakthrough, Restorer.

“We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us,” Col. 1:11-12 (The Message).

Tahni Cullen is the ministry director at the Spring Lake Park campus. She has been married to Joe for 12 years, and has a son Josiah (5). You can read about their journey with autism on her blog at hopingnotcoping.wordpress.com.